My horror of all horrors occured last Friday, July 4, as I was getting ready for work. I used the washroom right before I was leaving and found that I was bleeding! I immediately called my mom who was at home to take care of R that day. I was in shock, didn't know what to think and how to react then my mom immediately started praying for God's protection over me and the baby.
The first thing I could think of was I cannot lose this baby! I burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. Thank God my mom was there to assure me that we have to submit to whatever God's will is for this baby. She kept reminding me that there is a purpose for this and we have to keep our faith and not worry about things that we do not have control about. I kept saying that I shouldn't have did any weight training that morning and blamed myself for what happened. My mom assured me that things like these just happen and that nobody was going to blame me for this.
I got a doctor's appointment that afternoon and was sent for an ultrasound on Monday. Unfortunately we couldn't get any appointment that day. By this time, I have already submitted everything to the Lord and not even a tad worried about the spotting. I continued to spot during the day, especially after a meal or when I went "no.2".
On Saturday, July 5, my husband (M) tried calling the Chinatown Radiology to see if they could squeeze me in for an emergency appointment today. We were so happy to know that I could be accommodated at 11:15! During the whole time the radiologist was looking at the monitor, I kept telling myself to be ready for the worst (i.e. I couldn't hear any heart beat or You've lost your baby). After what seemed like an eternity (I guess it was only 5 minutes), the radiologist told me that the pregnancy was in very early stages that she could only see the sac. According to her, I was only 6 weeks pregnant! All the while, I thought I was already 9.5 weeks along. I'd have to call my doctor again this Monday and find out what is going on.
Last night, as I was having my daily devotions, I came across several verses that has spoken to me so clearly that God is in control of everything.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burded, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heard and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
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