Monday's Five Things I'm Grateful For

I apologize for this very late post. I actually wanted to post this on July 28th but our internet connection just didn't work the whole week. So I ended up being late for this entry. 

Monday, July 28th, was my first day back to work after a 3-week hiatus from the "real world". Instead of feeling the Monday blues, I am starting the week on a positive note by posting on my gratitude board. 

My gratitude list this week:

1. Gorgeous weather we've had over the weekend and I couldn't be more thankful to God for that! It was the perfect weather for our choir picnic yesterday. We had tons of fun and tons of food!

2. I'm grateful for some pampering and pedi time last Friday. Who wouldn't be thankful for that?

3. I couldn't be more thankful to my parents and my sister who are always there for me! They came back from their week-long vacation and didn't hesitate to babysit R while I took a little break and did some shopping!

4. My daughter has been consistently using the potty for the last two weeks! I still need to constantly remind her to let me know when she needs to use the potty, but it's been a HUGE improvement since we first started training her (1.5 yrs old). Yes it's has been a pretty long process but it's finally starting to pay off.

5. I'm thankful for the Bible verses I've been reading since last week through my devotional guide called "Today". I am constantly reminded that God is writing the story of my life. I may not like some parts of the story, but I must believe that He is leading me and showing me the clues that will guide me to my happy ending. I have to be listen carefully to what God is telling me and openly accept the challenges that come my way. I must say, though, that I cannot wait to see the amazing ending.

There certainly are more in my life to be thankful for, but I'll save them for next Monday.

Monday's "Five Things I'm Grateful For"

I was reading Thriving Family's Summer 2013 (I know...a year late) issue recently and found a great article about keeping a gratitude journal and writing down the things that you are thankful for. Studies have traced a range of impressive benefits to the simple act of writing down the things for which we’re grateful—benefits including better sleep, fewer symptoms of illness, and more happiness among adults and kids alike.

I've decided to start the "Five Things I'm Grateful For" entry today and every Monday thereafter. If the start of the workweek triggers feelings of anxiety and stress, it'll be refreshing to write down some things that you are grateful about last week. It's also a great way to keep myself in a thankful and positive state of mind especially what I've been through lately.  So here goes my list this week:

1. I'm thankful for the awesome weekend I had with my family! Rest and relaxation are two luxuries that money can't buy and that's what I experienced over the weekend. Nothing beats a healthy Saturday night dinner at Whole Foods and a lovely Sunday afternoon play time at Steveston Park. 

2. Summer and sunny days. Need I say more?

3. I'm grateful for good health. Indeed, health is wealth. When I was miscarrying 2.5 weeks ago, I felt like I couldn't even lift my head from my pillow. I'm really thankful that my energy is back and the Lord has restored my soul.

4.  Technology. I should've been in L.A. for a family reunion since Wednesday but because of my recent miscarriage, my doctor recommended me to get more rest and avoid flying. Thanks to technology, my sister has been sending me email updates about their events and calling me through Tango so I could stay in touch with them.

5. I'm most grateful about my 3-week staycation. I haven't been working for almost 3 weeks now due to the pregnancy loss. Being a stay-at-home mom has always been my dream since I gave birth to R. The last few weeks has given me a taste of that and I'm lovin' every second of it!

How about you? What are you thankful about this week?

Light at the end of the tunnel

It was as if I've finally gotten out of a very long dark tunnel. Saturday afternoon, after my hour-long nap, I felt as if I had renewed energy, renewed hope. I was ready to do my "normal" again, I was ready to do household chores, I was ready to take my daughter out to the park again. I was ready to start anew!

The weather was perfect for a picnic at the park. I didn't pack anything for dinner, my husband and I had roast lamb from our fave Greek restaurant in Steveston while my daughter had Vietnamese food. We finished off dinner with some ice cream...mmm...

In the last couple of weeks that I've been staying at home full time, I've come to love my daughter more and more. She brings so much joy and happiness to our family even though she's sometimes a handful. I have been blessed beyond what I'm supposed to have. I have a loving husband who takes care of me very well and makes sure that I have breakfast ready before I wake up (at least in the last two weeks). My mom, my dad, and my sister have been a huge help to my family in every way I can think of.

God has given me this time to slow down and re-think my priorities. I've been procrastinating for the longest time about starting a blog, and here I am, writing here every few days. God has given me more time to read more of His word and share my insights to you. God has given me this opportunity to write so that I can give Him back all the glory.

Tsokolate for the weak soul

It's true, chocolate has been proven to improve your mood. In an article I read in Reader's Digest, it said that dark chocolate stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that bring on feelings of pleasure. It also contains the chemical serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant.

The past few days had been one of the worst in my life. All I needed was a mood-booster and what better way than to make my own native hot tsokolate. Thick, frothy with a bittersweet taste of dark chocolate, Tsokolate or Filipino Hot Chocolate is one of my favourite treats during Christmas holidays and any day, actually. Paired with pan-de-sal (butter pan rolls) or ensaymada (brioche), it always give me a feeling of warmth and nostalgia (my grandma made this for me when I was growing up in Cebu). 

I used 20 mini discs of Argao's 100% pure tableya, 5 cups of boiling water and a lot of whisking/stirring to make a big pot of Tsokolate.You may add sugar and milk according to taste. For me, I usually add 1-2 tablespoons of maple syrup for 1 cup of tsokolate.

 

While sipping my cup of tsokolate this morning, I also reflected on God's Word to me. I came across 2 Corinthians 12:9 New International Version (NIV)

⁹ But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Once again, I'm reminded that all these are happening so that I will not forget that there is a God who is in charge of my life and I have to entrust everything to Him. I cannot and should not rely on my own strength.

God is too wise to be mistaken

I just didn't feel right this morning. I woke up at 5:45 and just couldn't go back to sleep. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking "what if this will be the last day that I'll be carrying this baby?" I just laid in bed, prayed and finally stepped out of bed at 7:20. Went to the washroom and realized there was a clot as big as my palm at the bottom of the toilet. I didn't know what it was. My husband was with me at that time and I just hugged him and cried. Sadness overcame me. 

My doctor couldn't even give me a clear answer if I miscarried or not that morning. I have to wait another 2 weeks for an ultrasound. I think I need a second opinion...but don't know who to go to.

As I reflect on the events that happened this morning, Babbie Mason's "Trust His Heart" comes to mind. Let me share the lyrics with you. 

TRUST HIS HEART

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see him,
Remember your never alone

Chorus:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope,
ALL our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him

I know God has better plans for me. I just need some closure and clarity with my situation right now.
 

When things don't go as planned

My horror of all horrors occured last Friday, July 4, as I was getting ready for work. I used the washroom right before I was leaving and found that I was bleeding! I immediately called my mom who was at home to take care of R that day. I was in shock, didn't know what to think and how to react then my mom immediately started praying for God's protection over me and the baby.

The first thing I could think of was I cannot lose this baby! I burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. Thank God my mom was there to assure me that we have to submit to whatever God's will is for this baby. She kept reminding me that there is a purpose for this and we have to keep our faith and not worry about things that we do not have control about. I kept saying that I shouldn't have did any weight training that morning and blamed myself for what happened. My mom assured me that things like these just happen and that nobody was going to blame me for this.

I got a doctor's appointment that afternoon and was sent for an ultrasound on Monday. Unfortunately we couldn't get any appointment that day. By this time, I have already submitted everything to the Lord and not even a tad worried about the spotting. I continued to spot during the day, especially after a meal or when I went "no.2".

On Saturday, July 5, my husband (M) tried calling the Chinatown Radiology to see if they could squeeze me in for an emergency appointment today. We were so happy to know that I could be accommodated at 11:15! During the whole time the radiologist was looking at the monitor, I kept telling myself to be ready for the worst (i.e. I couldn't hear any heart beat or You've lost your baby). After what seemed like an eternity (I guess it was only 5 minutes), the radiologist told me that the pregnancy was in very early stages that she could only see the sac. According to her, I was only 6 weeks pregnant! All the while, I thought I was already 9.5 weeks along. I'd have to call my doctor again this Monday and find out what is going on.

Last night, as I was having my daily devotions, I came across several verses that has spoken to me so clearly that God is in control of everything.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burded, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heard and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7